This has been causing a bit of a media storm in the last week.
Long story short for those not in the know: lady and man meet on Tinder, have pleasant evening together, next day man texts lady with reasons he will not be proceeding with relationship: reason in the main, he advises, is because she’s a bit overweight. Lady then blogs about it. Story goes viral.
For what it’s worth, I think Michelle (lady concerned) is quite a stunning woman – and from the words she writes I think she is stunning woman on the inside too. But not the point, at all.
Yes, people have preferences, of course they do; yes, you don’t have to be attracted to everyone you meet in the dating cycle (thank Christ, things would get itchy); yes, everyone finds different things attractive; (I, for instance, always had a thing for gorgeous large bald Scotsmen, until I didn’t, but there’s another story). So, if chemistry is present for you, cool, put your feelings out, see what results. If chemistry is not present? Ok, cool. You can’t help who you are attracted to. Say what’s what. Don’t go into the minutiae as to why. Be polite, be adult, be timely. A simple ‘sorry, you are great, but don’t think it would work out’ will absolutely suffice. Always.
Problem with the abovementioned story though? There is honest, and then there is fucking cruel. What this man wrote to Michelle was nothing short of nasty and brutal. Some would say honest. Fuck that, I’m calling it for what it was – downright bloody rude. In other words? Have some fucking manners, you arsehole.
(Aside: I am very pleased that gentleman I dated once was kind enough not to mention the massive, alien like coldsore growing from my lip upon our meeting (that no amount of Clinique supercover could disguise) when he texted me three days later to say ‘Hey. You’re great, but not sure it would work out’. It still stung, (I am a highly sensitive being) but at least he didn’t say – ‘um, have you considered dealing with your herpes virus?’)
The dating world, and finding that one person, is fraught; and believe me my friends and readers, I should know. You’re essentially naked, exposed, vulnerable. But remember you and your date are going through it together. Everyone’s in the same boat. So for pity’s sake, don’t be an arsehole.
Running update: managed to fuck my back last week due to lifting of heavy weights plus extraordinarily lumpy pub bed, but one osteo appointment and some days off for recovery later, I was able to run again. Pleased. Not back up where I was though – so don’t know how I will fare in Run Melbourne this coming weekend. Wish me luck.